Beachcombing

About 90 percent of the news releases sent to the Beachcomber end up in the trash can. This confirms what one UCLA professor stated back in the 1970s as I pursued a professional designation in public relations. The only difference is that today’s trash can is the delete key on our keyboards.

The primary reason for rejection is that the release is not local and would be of little or no interest to our readers. Two words always apply: “Who cares?”

Besides “local,” other tests that we apply include: impact (how many readers will be affected), quantity (how large was the donation), uniqueness (man bites dog), timeliness (recent)and celebrity (Pope Leo XIV is speaking).

The news releases that we do use are generally prepared by public relations professionals. Some come from publicity chairs who are clueless on how to perform the task.

Thanks to computer software programs, we now see news releases in the form of a flier – typically letter-sized with fancy graphics. Don’t think for a nanosecond that we are going to do your job and re-write your flier in the news release format. If a flier is sent, we’ll let you know what it will cost to print it as an advertisement.

Here are some basic rules for publicity chairs to follow:

• Always include “who, what, when, where, why and how” in the submission, with the most important facts at the top and the least important items at the end.
• Write in the third person. There is no “i” in the words “team” or “news.”
• Submit the item as a Word document or within the body of your email (no faxes or snail mail please).
• NO ALL CAPS, no underlines, no italics, no color, no bolding, no exclamation marks! and no hyperlinks.
• Send to editor@beachcomber.news 2-3 weeks before an event.
• Photos should be in JPG, 300 dpi and CMYK format with the caption included in the news release. List the names of persons in the photo, going from left to right. If your photo shows a gang shot of more than four persons, please throw it in the trash can for us.
• Always provide your name and phone number in case we have questions.

Funny stuff:

A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man’s car. Both of their cars are demolished, but amazingly neither of them was hurt.

After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said, “Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”

The man replied, “I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!

The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of 75-year-old scotch didn’t break. Surely God meant for us to drink this vintage delicacy and celebrate our good fortune.” Then she handed the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opened it, drank half the bottle and then handed it back to the woman. The woman took the bottle, immediately put the cap back on and handed it back to the man. The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”

She replies, “Nah. I think I’ll just wait for the police.”

publisher@beachcomber.news