Wellville or Candyland?

“The Road to Wellville,” a novel by T.C. Boyle and a 1994 film, provides titillating and tantalizing insight into the origins of the cereal wars. One of the first volleys of the carb conflict involved Dr. Kellogg, the inventor of cornflakes, attempting to foil the efforts, by all means possible, of a former patient, C.W. Post (anyone remember Grandma’s Postum?) and his Grapenuts. The battle for the consumers’ cereal bowl has been fraught with drama, Kellogg brother against Kellogg brother, General Mills versus Quaker Oats, dueling lobbyists and booby-trapped grain silos, to name a few.

As a side note, neither the novel nor film (you can see younger versions of Anthony Hopkins as Dr. Kellogg, along with Matthew Broderick, John Cusack, Dana Carvey and Bridget Fonda) are meant for the children. Beyond cereal, additional health cures, including electroshock and erotic massage, are covered in detail.

 Ready-to-eat cereal, aka “cold cereal,” had its origins in the alternative health hucksterism of the late 1800s. A whole wheat preparation, called “granala” or “granola,” depending upon which health philosopher you followed, had many health claims, some of which should not be printed in a family newspaper.

To “tart up” old-fashioned cooked oatmeal, Quaker Oats offered puffed oats, “cereal shot out of guns.” Rice Krispies, a selection with limited nutritional value, had some of its best earnings during the Great Depression, marketed as “good for you and for your wallet.” To capture 1950s-60s Baby Boomer kids’ influence on buying power, just about every cereal had a sugar-coated, toy-containing version.

 And now we come to the present day.

The current cereal industry is hungry for consumer dollars, but not necessarily consumer health. In many mainstream markets, you can pass by the cold cereal aisle and head right to the candy section. Mass-marketed versions of granola, trail mix, or cereals geared to different age groups are equivalent to candy in a “healthy for your wrapper.”

A “fun size” bag of plain M and M’s has approximately 8 grams of sugar (and no sodium), a Twix bar has approximately 17 grams of sugar, and a small box of Cracker Jacks has 13 grams sugar (and 2 grams of fiber!). Cold cereal may go better with milk than a Hershey bar, but a serving of Special K with berries and yogurt flavor has 13 grams of sugar, or honey and almond granola cereal 14 grams of sugar. Frosted Mini Wheats contain 13 grams of sugar, while “original” Shredded Wheat has no sugar (and 6 grams of fiber). Ever-popular Honey Nut Cheerios has 17 grams of sugar per serving, compared with “original” Cheerios, 2 grams of sugar for the equivalent amount.

When crunching the numbers for your cereal selection, channel your inner adult and think Cheerios, Grapenuts, cornflakes (or, if you need to get all New Age, kamut, buckwheat or wheat berry flakes) or “original” (no frosting, no dried fruit or nuts) shredded wheat – the “basic” versions. Once nuts, honey, freeze-dried fruit, syrup or “crunch” are added, sugar, sodium and fat increase.

Pride yourself on cereal creativity. Start with basic cereal and build. A splash of maple syrup here, a sprinkling of walnuts there, dried fruit, fresh fruit. This adds some sugar, salt or fat, but, with restraint, not as much as the manufacturers’ versions.

If the “back to basics” cold cereal approach does not appeal, then “listen to Grandma” and set serving sizes for your candy dish cereal to “moderate.” Or, to avoid going “cold turkey” with your high fat, high salt, high sugar cereal selection, use it as a garnish, mixing it with your basic cold oats, corn or whole wheat cereal.

While doing some cereal research, we were glad to discover that the “ miracle” of cold cereal, a la Dr. Kellogg still lives: Poop Like a Champion (that’s really the name), if used incorrectly, could cause real damage. It promises.... well, you get the picture. Reviewing consumer comments about this product on Amazon were hair-raising. Magic Spoon cereal, which appears to pride itself on containing hardly any cereal, is a very high protein, neon-colored cross between Fruity Pebbles and medical-testing contrast, $10 a box on Amazon. Attempting to capture current Baby Boomers, Post’s new Sweet Dreams cereal claims to be a sleep aid in a bowl, with melatonin-inducing ingredients (and 13 grams of sugar).

Cold cereal is going to have some carbs – that’s what it’s made of! Even the high sugar, high fat, high sodium cold cereal may have some good stuff: fiber, vitamins and minerals. However, our breakfast bowl does not need to have as much sodium or fat as a Philly Cheese steak or as much sugar as a Big Gulp.

This is by no means an exhaustive, scientific treatise on cereal chemistry, and, as they like to say on TV, “Consult your health care professional before attempting this at home.”

Nancy Berkoff, RD, EdD has been involved with health and patient care more years than she cares to say.
 foodprof2@gmail.com