Beachcombing

By: 
Jay Beeler

Nary a day goes by that I do not receive a friend request on Facebook. The majority get ignored if I do not know the person and we do not have several friends in common. Requests get deleted automatically from (1) those unknown folks do not provide some “about” details, (2) persons outside my geographical areas of interest, (3) anyone with thousands of friends attempting to break the Guinness Book of World Records and (4) those voluptuous young things in skimpy clothing who want my body.

Despite those outrageous restrictions I do have 850 Facebook “friends” and know many of them. I figure if we have friends in common and I like those persons, I want to be your friend as well. As the saying goes: “You are known by the company you keep.”

Just by writing this column every other week I have hundreds of friends who know much about me while I do not know much about them. Occasionally one of my reader “friends” will call to chat as if we’ve known each other for decades. That’s a very good sort of friend to have, especially if we can rely on them as “sources” for news.

Aside from the hundreds of emails and news alerts received each day, I find Facebook to be a good source of unofficial information and Nextdoor to be a good source of gossip, always subject to confirmation.

So, I encourage everyone to take advantage of those sources of info and even be my friend on Facebook. Warning to Nextdoor posters: If you complain about those infrequent military jet take-offs and landings at Long Beach Airport, expect to get a “shut up and move away” response from this U.S. Air Force veteran/private pilot.

America: Love it or leave it.

 

Funny stuff from our funny friends:

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller’s name is Patricia Whack. So, he says, “Ms. Whack, I’d like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation.”

Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.

The frog says $30,000.

The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, “Sure. I have this,” and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she’ll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral.” She holds up the tiny pink elephant. “I mean, what the heck is this?”

The bank manager looks back at her and says: “It’s a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”

 

publisher@beachcomber.news

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