Beachcombing

I’ve always liked Assemblyman Patrick O’Donnell, so I guess he is to be excused for doing something not very tactful.

Two weeks ago, he sent out a press release requesting public input on naming the Gerald Desmond replacement bridge, which opened last October. He stated that “Three choices under consideration for the naming of the new bridge are: ‘International Gateway,’ ‘Long Beach Transpacific’ and ‘Long Beach International Gateway.’”

My public relations juices started gushing forth over the stupidity of those offerings, taking me back to the time two decades ago when the city came up with its “poker chips and sperm” logo that appeared briefly on police cars and (more appropriately) city refuse containers.

What Patrick should have done was:

Invite the public to suggest names – good, bad and ugly.

Appoint a committee of civic leaders (including a few branding professionals) to select the 6-8 best names from those submitted

Let the public choose from the 6-8 list that is not the brainchild of a few persons.

Make sure each item on the list is acceptable to most residents.

The name of the city is unnecessary in the bridge name, just like Los Angeles Vincent Thomas Bridge and San Francisco Golden Gate Bridge are not smart. The repetition of “International Gateway” in the selections is a very poor survey technique.

I pondered some names that might be appropriate:

“Waaay Over Budget” or “Better Late Than Never,” reflecting a $960 million budget that ballooned to $1.5 billion on a project that was three years behind schedule

I also liked “Get Over It,” “Unabridged,” “Short Attention Span” and “No Jumping.”

“Second Tallest” is appropriate for our new cable-stayed bridge, since the Arthur Ravenel Jr. Bridge in Charleston, S.C., is the tallest at 575 feet versus ours at 515 feet. The South Carolina bridge was completed in 2005 for only $541 million yet it is longer and wider.

There’s also the consideration of naming the bridge after someone who has made a great impact on our community. Mark Bixby’s name is affixed to the bridge’s bike path – maybe it could be expanded to cover the whole thing.

But the Bixby name is everywhere, and this is Long Beach, where they ignore the “must be deceased” precedent and name facilities based on political ass kissing – after past mayors and former presidential first ladies.

The current mayor would love it. After all, he follows in the footsteps of Donald Trump by craving media attention in excess. Every press release we receive from any city department “must” incorporate a quote from the mayor in the second paragraph, versus giving credit to the appropriate city employee. Guess which paragraph we always delete in this idiotic, self-serving activity by a profligate mayoral PR staff.

So, the bottom line is that I like Patrick’s “International Gateway” suggestion, despite being presented in a less-than-democratic manner. Then again, “Robert Garcia Memorial Bridge” has a certain ring to it.

It’s a poorly kept secret that Garcia is eager to climb the political ladder. Undoubtedly, he’d like to be in LA Mayor Eric Garcetti’s shoes right now for a job in the President Biden administration.

We can make that happen for the mayor by using a clever advertising technique; it’s called a vehicle wrap. Visualize a recreational vehicle with a “hire me” message, parked outside Vice President Kamala Harris’ house at the Naval Observatory in Washington, DC.

Instead of a “GoFundMe” account, you can contribute to this very worthy effort at our website: www.beachcomber.news. Click on the “Donate” tab and be sure to check the box labeled “Political Action.”

We enthusiastically look forward to supporting Patrick as Robert’s replacement after Kamala beckons.

publisher@beachcomber.news