Beachcombing

By: 
Jay Beeler

I am leaning toward impeachment of the president. No, not the one who lives in the White House, but the CSULB president who lives in the former Miller house in Park Estates.

Jane Close Conoley is behind a movement to trash Prospector Pete, the iconic character who represents the 325,000 alumni who graduated from the school since its founding in 1949 – this writer included. The first president of Cal State Long Beach, Pete Peterson, referred to “striking gold in education” when the school and its Forty-Niners moniker were created.

Jane wants to change history by going back to the 1849 gold rush in California, when “indigenous peoples of California endured subjugation, violence and threats of genocide.” What the hell does that have to do with the school’s 1949 beginning and our designation as “The Golden State”?

Don’t screw with my school’s 70-year-old history, Jane. For that matter stop tearing down symbols, statues and other icons from centuries ago that demonstrate how our ancestors conducted their lives – good, bad and ugly. You can’t rewrite the facts to fit your twisted morality; it is the job of journalists to write the first chapter of history, not college presidents.

In our last column we invited readers to participate in a poll at www.beachcomber.news and pick from the following list of candidates: Kraken, Pelicans, Sharks, Stingrays, Giraffes, The Beach, Prospector Pete or None of the above. We added Prospector Pete to their yucky list and it garnered 74 percent of the vote, The Beach had 15 percent and the five others got 11 percent. The poll is still there for you to cast your vote.

I’m calling on the 325,000 CSULB alumni to stop supporting the school’s fundraising activities if Prospector Pete gets the boot. The Beachcomber can be the driving force behind a Prospector Pete Gold Rush with the goal of diverting alumni contributions to a better, more important pot of nuggets, such as funding the 11 percent of CSU students who currently experience homelessness and the 21 percent who have very low food security.

Contributors of $49 or more would receive a Prospector Pete window decal that demonstrates their support for our beloved character. Donations will go to a food pantry and homeless student motel vouchers. Call or email me if you want to participate.

Meanwhile, Jane, learn the school’s motto: “Vox Veritas Vita” (Latin for “Speak the truth as a way of life.”). GO PETE!

 

Funny stuff:

Woman: “How many beers do you drink in a day?”

Man: “Usually about three.”

Woman: “How much do you pay per beer?”

Man: “Five dollars, which includes a tip.”

Woman: “And how long have you been drinking?”

Man: “About 20 years, I suppose.”

Woman: “So a beer costs $5 and you have three beers a day, which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year that would be approximately $5,400, correct?”

Man: “Correct.”

Woman: “If in one year you spend $5,400, not accounting for inflation, the past twenty years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?”

Man: “Correct.”

Woman: “Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could’ve by now bought an airplane?”

Man: “Do you drink beer?”

Woman: “No.”

Man: “Where’s your airplane?

 

publisher@beachcomber.news

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