Jay Beeler

Tuesday’s election results show that D. Joseph Morissette garnered 43 percent of the 9,814 votes in the mayor’s race. That name and contest may not be familiar to 99 percent of our readers, but Joe is well-known in Chicopee, Mass. and – most importantly – is my 55-year-old nephew.

It was the first time that a family member ran for political office and Joe did exceptionally well with no prior political experience, running against the current president of the Chicopee City Council. As a former Chicopee school resource officer and current vice principal at Chicopee High School, many locals know Joe and were supportive of his candidacy.

Joe’s sister and my niece, Jeanne, were both Chicopee police officers. These days they keep me posted on the progress of my 82-year-old sister, Joyce, who resides in a Chicopee nursing home. I know that she is just as proud of her son as is the rest of our family.

Locally City Transit Director Mary Zendejas had 31 percent of the vote in the 1st District race and will fill that vacant seat. She was supported by the local public safety unions, meaning these city employees will probably continue to enjoy profligate salaries at your expense. Get ready for the $400,000 Club, more road diets, less road maintenance, zero transparency, more corruption and more stonewalling.


Last week my wife and I had the honor of attending the sixth annual “A Few Good Men Gala” fundraiser for the Ronald McDonald House, held at the Pacific Ballroom at the Long Beach Arena. This very impressive event raised more than $800,000 to facilitate the housing of families whose seriously ill children are staying at nearby hospitals.

Honorees this year included Fred Abdelnour, Craig Barto, Michael Brascia, Lindsay Hughes, Alan Knipe, Kevin Malloy, Thomas E. Malloy, Jim McDonnell, Nasir Tejani, M.D., Chris Wacker, Randy Wilson and Don Wylie. The title sponsor was the Don Temple Family Charitable Foundation.

Also impressive was the 1,200 attendees, who fit nicely into the re imagined arena main section – dubbed the Pacific Ballroom – with huge overhead globes and side curtains to make the space more welcoming to dinner guests. Next year it will be held on Oct. 14; put it on your “things to do” calendar.

More lexophile humor:

  • Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
  • A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.
  • The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
  • He had a photographic memory, but it was never fully developed.
  • When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
  • Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.
  • I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
  • Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
  • When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
  • When chemists die, they barium.
  • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
  • I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
  • Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.


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