Beachcombing

By: 
Jay Beeler
It’s that time of year to play the role of Santa Claus, so I’m making a list and checking it twice in deciding who was naughty and nice. Starting with those who deserve the good stuff…
 
  • The Long Beach Police Department, for reducing the number of officer-involved shootings to a record low level this past year. Thank goodness the era of “shoot first and ask questions later” is giving way to less lethal means of controlling suspects without weapons. RIP Douglas Zerby.
  • The Long Beach Airport, for making LGB the easiest facility to use for airline travel. LAX, by comparison, is one of the worst airports in the United States and a nightmare to access by car or sleigh.
  • St. Mary Medical Center and Memorial Hospital Medical Center, for continuing to provide the highest quality medical care for locals.
  • Councilman Daryl Supernaw for his efforts to re-open Community Hospital and its emergency department in service to East Long Beach residents.
  • Long Beach Area Chamber of Commerce President/CEO Randy Gordon for his 25 years of leadership before retiring next year, turning over the reins to VP Jeremy Harris. During that time Gordon has donated his time as an auctioneer for local non-profits, raising more than $5 million at 300-plus gigs.
  • Los Angeles County 4th District Supervisor Janice Hahn for her efforts to curb homelessness and the use of LA Found bracelets, used for tracking down lost persons with Alzheimer’s, autism and dementia.
  • Our Beachcomber advertisers for your continuing support of local news.
These folks deserve coal in their stockings…
  • Congressional Democrats for wasting three years trying to undo the 2016 election and win back the White House because Trump is a professional “horse trader,” which translates to “quid pro quo” in Washington, DC. Even political novices know that the Senate will not impeach him. I predict that the Democrats will lose seats in the 2020 election as a result of their goal of a “Divided States of America.”
  • Brian Whitaker, who recently sued ten Belmont Shore businesses because his wheelchair could not fit under dining tables or access restrooms as required by the Americans with Disabilities Act. Thus far in 2019 he has sued 650 businesses for being non-compliant. There outta be a law against clowns like him. But wait, there is: Passed in 1970, the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act (RICO) is a federal law designed to combat organized crime in the United States. It allows prosecution and civil penalties for a variety of crimes, including extortion.
  • Former City Manager Pat West for allowing a “road diet” on Broadway, turning it into an automobile war zone and driving out small retail businesses. Bicyclists West and former mayor Bob Foster sought to infuse our city with bike lanes decades before they were needed while ignoring street resurfacing and other necessary infrastructure needs.
  • Mayors and councilmembers past and present who have allowed excessive salaries for city personnel without means for funding their pensions in the future. They call it “kick the bucket.”
  • The Long Beach Fire Department for failing to inform the public via the local news media with press releases and photos on major incidents. We miss you, Wayne Chaney.
  • CSULB President Jane Close Conoley for screwing with my alma mater’s mascot (Prospector Pete) and moniker (49ers). “Sharks” is total BS! Don’t knock on my door for bequests, Jane. 
  • The US Postal Service for increasing rates while providing slower deliveries. It’s past time to stop the door-to-door nonsense and create neighborhood distribution kiosks, thereby cutting excessive labor overhead. 
Holiday Humor: Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter heaven. On entering they must present something relating to or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pocket and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of stockings. Confused at this last gesture, St Peter asks, “How do these represent Christmas?” Answer: “They’re Carol’s.”
 

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