What Crisis?

By: 
Craig Miller

Shame on you. Yes, shame on those of you who buy an expensive new bike knowing that you are tempting a homeless person to steal it. I’ve often wondered, where do people who are supposedly penniless and living “hand to mouth” in a pup-tent get those high price bicycles? I see them everywhere patrolling our neighborhoods, picking through the recycling barrel; some of them even have an infant carrier trailing behind them to carry what they have collected. Where did they get that? What are the theft and burglary statistics in East LB?

Politicians love to label any situation a “crisis.” It gives them an excuse to pound their chest and pretend to provide a remedy by raising taxes. We don’t have a “homeless crisis.” We have a “tolerating criminals crisis.” Here are my two solutions:

Number one: Require the police to enforce all bicycle vehicle codes and then use that as probable cause to run the bicycle frame number to see if it is reported stolen.

Number two: Any Politician who wishes to buy a new bike shall be required to buy two and give one to a transient. Problems solved. They should also donate 50% of their income to the transients to show their commitment to eliminating the “crisis.” Just don’t raise my taxes to support bicycle thieves and criminals.

 

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