Racist Surfing Lyrics

Craig Miller

I’m committed to do what I have to do to become a modern-day “hero,” although the definition of that word is rather fuzzy. I believe, however, that I have discovered a long-ignored, yet glaring example of American racism. With this discovery I’m confident that I can become a member of the “Politically Correct Enforcer Cadre.” I’m embarrassed to admit that I have been tapping my feet and singing this song with the racist lyrics since 1961 when it was first released.

I’m talking about the Beach Boys, “Surfin’ USA.” In the lyrics, acceptance into the genre hinges upon the listener wearing “baggies & huarache sandals.” However, the most ominous and racist of the requirements to be a proper surfer was a “bushy, bushy blond hairdo,” which automatically excludes every race and person who has a hair color that disqualifies them.

As a young surfer, I didn’t realize that I was being discriminated against but now that I am much older, I feel a responsibility to suggest a remedy in the spirit of my politically correct comrades. I’m sure the Beach Boys have the money to hand out some reparations and if there are any statues of the Beach Boys around, the PC vandals who thrashed our cities would be giddy with delight to tear them down.

With history as a teacher, I suggest we declare all Beach Boys music to be contraband and collect their CDs, albums, cassettes and 8-track tapes; pile them high in an open field and follow Hitler’s example, when he burned piles of books. Perhaps we could have one of the many modern-day arsonists light the funeral pyre the way they set fire to our cities.

It is never too late to discover racism and since there is no absolute definition of that word, “a bushy, bushy blond hairdo” sounds close enough to me. If we can go back hundreds of years and demean and denounce our nation’s forefathers, we can certainly look back 60 years to destroy an American music icon; the Beach Boys.

 

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Comments

This is quite a stretch to me friend.

You're freakin RIDICULOUS! Go inhale some Chemtrails.

Many surfers *colored* their hair to be blonde!

For everyone that took this rant for anything other than sarcasm, you are stupid. That's not racist, it's a fact.

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